Parental Issues.

[Able1]

Originally Posted by L473ncy

That's actually the same with pretty much every single parent.

I'm sure my parents think I'm retarded or something. I swear they treat me like one. I passed high school with honours and got into university (with a scholarship), lived on my own for 8 months and still they treat me like a kid who doesn't know anything about the world. They never listen to my advice.

You think you've had it bad? Once my parents make up their mind that's final period. Even my grand mom is like that. Once she gets an idea it has to be done and has to be done now, even if I'm working on something else (eg. painting the house or fixing the fence) she gets me to do pointless things around her house in the middle of me doing it so I have to put all my shit down and do some pointless task for like 10 minutes and start to do whatever I was doing before which pretty much wastes like 10 minutes of time I could have been doing something plus the time it takes me to get setup again.

That's Every 30 minutes of my life here at home. Moving out with a friend might not be that bad he lives a couple of minutes away too.

an entire room dedicated to you guns and gear

Funds are also a bit of an issue considering i do try to help them out, but i'm not at the top of the seniority list at sears and definitely not getting enough hours.

[kalnaren]

That's parents dude.

The end analysis is that you're living in their house. You follow their rules. If you don't like it, move out and support yourself. I was lucky -I didn't get into airsoft until i was away at College.. if I was still living at home at the time, I never would have been allowed.

[wildcard]

Originally Posted by m102404

Get a job, move out of your house, support yourself...send a card at the holidays. Send them extra money...drop by to clean the gutters and cut the lawn (and then leave).

You'll find your parents (especially your mom) will mellow out a lot after that.

The issue is you...you're cramping their lifestyle and they want you gone. Your mom didn't decide to spend the rest of her life with two guys...she picked your dad. You're the +1 in that house.

They've put up with your presence for 18yrs...that's enough for anyone.

They even started a new life in another country to give you a better chance to move out...and you're still there. Take the hint.

Move the fuck out, when I was 18 I was in Europe working under a 3 Michelin star Chef earning my keep Your parents can't say shit once you move out. Like Tys said once in a while mow their lawn or give them a nice envelope filled with cash (this usually help shutting up Asian parents) if you think threatening to throw your stuff is hard you should see my ol man when I told him I'm going to Europe to be a Chef instead of UofT Law.

[ratnest]

get some responsible friends and split on rent, it makes it easier to live away from home at first. employers tend to be understanding of people who live on their own, and give priority in hours to those who have bills to pay, and it makes your boss think you are trying to be responsible and do something with your life.

[5.56]

Sounds all too familiar to me. With our baby coming, my toys do not have any kind of right to occupy space in the house, including beside the garbage can!

[Kingsix]

This happens alot to me when I leave a mess of BB's in the Basement after some pinking.

[Cheesevillage]

A healthy family will be happy to house their son at 18 years old.


There is a lot of "move out - they hate you" in this thread and thats just plain wrong.

Your mother is ignorant, sick maybe. She needs someone to help her with priorities.
I have no idea what the underlying issues are but it sounds like your family needs some help keeping it real.

Her reaction is a symptom of something more sinister.

[Shrike]

We need to get rid of mom












Did I say that out loud?

[Eeyore]

Originally Posted by Cheesevillage

A family will be happy to house their son at 18 years old.

There is a lot of "move out - they hate you" in this thread and thats just plain wrong..

This part is true. Your mom has the same issues as all parents. They fear what they don't understand. "Why should my child be happy playing with gun when he could be studying or working or getting married to give me grandchildren."

The solution is usually trying to talk to your folks respectfully. Try explaining that it builds teamwork and communication and leadership skills.

But it may not work man. My father calls he Rambo for hours when ever he sees one of my guns. And I'm a 30 year old man. He always tells me its time to put away childish things like , my toys and video games.

Sometimes the only solution is selective hearing.

[kalnaren]

My mother is very anti-gun, but when I first got into airsoft I was going through a pretty rough time. I brought my G36 home and set the box (it was inside-out) on the couch. My mom looked at the box and and asked me what it was.

My answer: "Therapy".

She didn't mind so much

[HeadlessChicken]

My mother has been a widow since I was 4. I don't think she understands the sport much but she respects my decision. I do however help a lot around the house, pay her rent, plus take care of all of my own expenses, etc since the middle of my teen years. Her spouse on the other hand is a freak show where even a piece of tape near a lightbulb was enough to get him psyched that maybe someone was taping him (I know because this actually happened) so I've kept all my stuff well hidden. I also used the whole "therapy" thing on her, good way of taking out the stresses of the week without committing actual crimes.

If she wants, take her aside, sit her down and explain things in full detail even if you have to do so in English. If she walks away before the talk is done then tough luck for the both of you. Can't force someone to not wanna listen to what you have to say.

[pilotguy]

Originally Posted by Cheesevillage

A healthy family will be happy to house their son at 18 years old.


There is a lot of "move out - they hate you" in this thread and thats just plain wrong.

Your mother is ignorant, sick maybe. She needs someone to help her with priorities.
I have no idea what the underlying issues are but it sounds like your family needs some help keeping it real.

Her reaction is a symptom of something more sinister.

I don't normally post on stuff like this, but this particular post just gets me.

I don't think you have any right to say that about anyones parents regardless of your views. Seriously. So the guys Mom doesn't like guns and war games. That's no crime. Frankly, she has every right to feel however she feels and HE should be more mindful about respecting those wishes. These "toys" aren't just another Xbox you know. They DO from time to time draw bad attention and instead of coming on ASC an asking for help, maybe someone should be listening to his parents and finding an alternative to storing whatever it is he has. I'm not saying quit playing, but make it less obvious and quit walking around thinking just because you're 18, you're entitled to an opinion when you aren't paying the bills.

To those who have no experience with guns or airsoft, guns = violence and bad stuff in general. I agree it's an ignorant view, but folks who live at home with Mom and Dad need to respect the wishes of their parents and if you don't like that, then simply move out. Another idea for future reference is... ASK. Maybe try and ease the individual into the idea instead of inviting a stranger over into your parents home to talk about guns.

Anyway, nuff said.. Hate to sound like a grandpa here, but...

[blackcaddi]

Trust me I know what your going through. I too came from the philippines with strict parents. Prove to them that you're an adult. Make something out of yourself, go to school and get a career and show them that your not a bum and you have plans for the future. You have to break them slowly and carefully. I have tried everything from drinking to drugs and I made sure I was responsible enough not to go crazy and over do it. But I made something out of myself and now my parents lives with me in my house. Isn't that ironic. Show them that you study hard and play hard. Try to live with them as much as you can because once you move out it's a whole lot of responsibilities to be alone.

[Loathing]

Best thing about living 3-4 hours away from the family and not owning a car, is having the ability to tell them that No I can't come over to 'visit' (by which they mean fix shit around the goddamn house) because I'm too broke due to bills.

And by broke I mean I've already payed my small amount of bills.

And bought more toys.

And by toys I mean airsoft crap.

Goddammit.

[kalnaren]

Originally Posted by blackcaddi

TTry to live with them as much as you can because once you move out it's a whole lot of responsibilities to be alone.

Truth speaker speaks truth. Living on your own opens up a whole massive more amount of shit you never would have thought of living at home. Some parents don't actually do a very good job at preping their kids for the real world (mine did! Thanks mom and dad!) and a lot of kids get a very blunt awakening when they move away from home. I've seen this every single year I've been at college.

Now that I have my first real (Ie, professional) job and getting my own apartment soon (ie, no roommates), I'm glad my parents are close enough that I can still ask them for help and advice when I need it. When you get a little older you really start to realise how "right" some of the things your parents said or tried to teach you are; things that you shrugged off when you were a teenager.

Yea, you're still living with them, and it can be tough as you get older. But like I said, it's their house, their rules. Enjoy having only 20% of real life shit to worry about, and don't piss them off.. because trust me, there WILL be times in your near future you'll need them again for something.